When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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