so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have fence marks all over my body
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
