Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
