school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
