I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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