You really coming over, don't trick.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
