I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize