She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
