it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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