if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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