U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
