Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
