Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
