Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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