you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
