The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
