I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
