Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize