You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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