he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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