It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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