so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
