apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
