I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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