I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
