woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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