i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
