Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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