dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
