True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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