before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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