I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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