So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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