Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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