that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize
