I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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