I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
