She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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