is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Randomize
