Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
