The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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