So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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