I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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