Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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