Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
