I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize