This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
