Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
