I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
