Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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