shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
