sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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