This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
