They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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