We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
