let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
