All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
