I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
