2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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