Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
