Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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